Deeper Restoration

I wrote the poem Mine Eyes Upon the Lord at the end of a season in my life what I termed as "Deeper Restoration." My partying and hanging days were behind me. I was a devoted Christian by this time and had become responsible with finances and managing my household. I had been recognized for many accomplishments, yet there was some deeper work to be done... within.

I discovered this after I met my Boaz. The brotha' was wise, witty, fine and on fire for the Lord! It was all good at first, but when I fell in love, insecurities from my past resurfaced. Caught off guard, I was astonished at how I felt about myself. Suddenly, I realized... I was aging. I didn't feel like that cute, young honey anymore. I'd gained a little weight, noticing a few not-so-cute dimples in places other than the one on my face. As a minster, I no longer dressed provocatively to emphasize the sexy parts of my body I had once been so proud to show off. No, it was the real deal, just me. How was I to appeal to this godly man in my life without strutting my stuff?

To my amazement, good ole' Christian Candace began behaving like many women dealing with low self-esteem who are in relationships... I started tripping. Comparing myself to other women, comparing my man to former boyfriends, getting an attitude and jealous for no reason. I was making assumptions on how he felt, thinking he was using or betraying me. Oh, it was crazy! I thought, "Where in the world is this coming from?" I knew I had to get it together... real quick!


At first, I tried to heal myself. A distorted self-image and deep insecurities had robbed my joy and hindered my purpose for far too long. After reading tons of books and spending a lot of unnecessary money on physical restoration, I still found myself reacting to my past… making hasty decisions, dishonoring my man and destroying our future. More so, I felt like I had failed and displeased God, who had blessed me with this incredible man in the first place. Finally, I separated from him to spend a season with God... a season of "Deeper Restoration." It lasted for a few months, but was the greatest thing I could have ever done for our relationship.

If you're in a similar state, take some time out for personal healing. Although exercise, good eating habits and taking care of your body is a good thing, only God can truly restore you to realize your true worth. God showed me that through His Word would I be delivered, because there one can find their identity, purpose and value. It is in the Bible that you'll be reminded that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, a royal priestess, daughter of the Most High. You may have heard and even quoted some of these scriptures I studied during the season of "Deeper Restoration," but take a few weeks to meditate on them:

• Read and re-read the scriptures daily
  
• memorize and repeat verses to yourself throughout the day
  
• pray for God to give you understanding
  
• look up cross-references
  
• post scriptures on your wall or as notes in your cell phone
  
• study words from original Hebrew or Greek language
  
• share with other women about what God is revealing to you
  
• listen to sermons on the topics
  
• journal your thoughts along the way
  

After spending much time focusing on self-love, prayer, and meditation, the result was a few simple words that changed my life forever. Keep my eyes on Jesus. Outside influences and deceptive thoughts can distort your reality. Just keep your eyes on Him. So, when you get discouraged… think about Jesus. If you get crazy thoughts about someone who loves you trying to betray you… think about the Lord. If you're feeling unattractive... what does God have to say about you, His most prized possession? When you want to beat yourself up for falling short… seek his mercy. It's yours, because you are His righteousness through Christ. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, including loved ones, children, the people at work, at church… not even your man. If you just keep your eyes on Him, He will heal, protect and lead you into your destiny.

Here are just a few Deeper Restoration scriptures to get you started, but you will be blessed as more are revealed to you personally during your season:
Genesis 2:18-24; Psalm 139:14; Proverbs 5:19, 31:10-31; Isaiah 61:3; Zechariah 2:8; 2 Corinthians 10:5; 1 Peter 2:9

Read Mine Eyes Upon the Lord