Candidate for Mr. Right

Lord knows patience is at practice while waiting for God to send us single women a husband. Yet, so often, women of God are out looking for any ole’ Mr. Good Guy, instead of allowing Mr. Right to find us.

Recently, I found myself pouting when I met another guy who isn’t Mr. Right. A candidate for Mr. Right is no longer just who I like, but I’ve come to the understanding of three things: 1) Although there are many fish in the sea, there is only one Mr. Right for me; 2) God knows just who he is; and 3) he will find me.

As we grow in Christ, our choices change. We begin to desire the things of God and less worldly things; we begin seeking His will rather than our own. When I was in the world, if the brotha’ was decent looking, had a job, didn’t have a woman, and was nice (I was a sucker for “nice” guys) then he was a prime candidate for being my man. Now, the criteria is different. First of all, I don’t want just a man, I want a husband. Secondly, he must be a man of God. This goes beyond the former “plus” for the brother saying he was a Christian. Truly being equally yoked includes the level of spiritual maturity as well. For me, Mr. Right must know God, not just know of him. Coming from a long line of strong, domineering women, submission has always been a challenge. I strive in this area, but since I must, I will feel eased by submitting to a man that himself is submitting to Christ. Thus, he must have a personal relationship with Jesus. Otherwise, we may be in conflict, because I won’t trust the decisions he makes for the household. Better yet, give me a man after God’s own heart and on fire for the Lord. Yeah!

What is interesting to me, even with the criteria changing, some of the things that I was attracted to still linger. By nature, women are nurturers. Topped off with a heart to encourage others, I realize that I’m attracted to people who need guidance. I am able to see potential in everyone simply because I know that God has a purpose for them and the power to change lives. This is fine for ministry, but my mind must be renewed in this sense for a husband. A woman of God once told me how rather than desiring a man to help obtain, I must desire a man to help maintain. Hearing that was one of those “Wow” moments for me. This wisdom stems from looking at Adam and Eve in the garden. Adam already had the garden. God gave him Eve as a help mate to assist in maintaining what Adam already had. So, Mr. Right should already have some fruit (both spiritual and natural).


Finally, there is the issue that we experience looking at our own eligibility. Growing in age, with children of my own and increased inches around the waistline, seems that I may not be a prime selection myself in the physical sense. But a man of God seeks a godly woman above all things. Here, we can draw on the faith of Ruth,whose mother-in-law Naomi was too old to bare a son for her to wed after Ruth’s husband died. Surely, Ruth desired to have a husband, yet she continued on in her mission to care for Naomi. In the process, God blessed her with Boaz. So, as we continue in the will and work of God, we position ourselves to meet up with Mr. Right. This includes areas in our personal lives. Likewise, I believe God is working on that soon-to-be-blessed-because-he-will-have-found-a-good-thing-in-us man of God too. Even if you’re a loner like me, only going to church and grocery shopping is often the highlight of my week, God knows exactly where you’re at. If we depend on Him, Mr. Right will find us there… right in the center of God's will.